Barney's Birthday Burger

So today was Barney's birthday, and we hadn't got him a cake...so I decided to knock him (and myself) up something special from my 'experimental' kitchen - and make him a Birthday Burger.

Through my backchannels, I'd gotten myself some 'Dampfnudeln' - Asian steamed buns. They've been quite boring really and I've been looking for something different to do with them.

I also had some Bockwurst leftover.

So, as I'm known to do, time to experiment with pretty much everything that was left in the fridge :)

I've been wanting some pork buns, dim sum style, so seeing as though Bockwurst is pretty much pork, this should surely work!

Step 1: Season buns with sugar, salt, pepper and butter (Like I said, these things are boring otherwise) and steam.

Step 2: After the buns have been steaming for a while, drop the Bockwurst  (only needed one for 2 burgers) in the water to warm up, while the buns continue steaming (efficient cooking!)

Step 3: Give it about 5 minutes.

Step 4: Remove buns, let to cool and dry slightly. Remove Bockwurst and chop into little bits.

Step 5: Add everything that is left in the fridge - Hot mustard, Sambal oelek, Currywurst Sauce, Mayonnaise, salt and pepper. Stir and fry.

Step 6: Assemble!!

Step 7: Chuck a candle in, sing happy birthday and watch the little doggie enjoy. We shared and I can say that I was quite pleased with the result. Barney was very happy with it too!

Critical Mass Berlin

There's a world wide bicycle movement called Critical Mass which aims to draw attention to cyclists, their rights and infrastructure.

Naturally, in Berlin, as a big city that loves a good demonstration, the Critical Mass movement is popular here too.

Taking place on the last Friday of every month, I went along in August 2015 to check it out. Critical Mass feels like a movement I can get on board with, since moving to Berlin cycling is my main mode of transport,

An interesting thing about the way Critical Mass is organised, is that is pretty much isn't. All there is are set dates and meeting points. What happens after that seems to be pretty organic. This decentralised approach has lots of unstated advantages, but one of them is that 'we' needed register the event with the police - which is what you would normally have to do when running a demonstration.

So I went along to the meeting point, Heinrichlplatz in Kreuzberg, at the specified meeting time - 8pm. I was a bit nervous, not really sure what was going to happen, and sat on my bike amongst other similarly nervous looking people. Some cops were around, but that feels normal anyway in Berlin.

Just after 8pm, a few 'leader' took off down the street, including a pied piper like guy with a stereo system blaring from his bike. Slowly some of the waiting crowd, including myself, went with them. This led us the short distance down the street to the Mariannenplatz, which actually is a better meeting point. There were lots more people here. We waited in this place for about 15 minutes. I wasn't really sure what was going on, but with no clear leader I guessed the crowd was waiting for a peloton to break free to follow.

The first steps are the hardest. I tried to take my cue from two guys that had excellent stereo systems blaring. When they moved, I'd go too. If they were that prepared then surely they would know what was going on. The thing was, these guys didn't budge, so eventually a group did break free, people followed and we were off!

I followed this guy as his stereo blasted a live set of The Prodigy. Later on I found that a stupendously loud truck horn sound was actually coming from his boom box trailer set up. Handy for warning everyone, onlookers and cars that we were there - though hardly hard to miss.

His system, and that of many others, put my two-light extravaganza to shame!

We rejoined the Heinrichplatz waiting cyclists and then together flooded the Orianenburgerstrasse. Hard to tell how many people were taking part...I was guessing a few hundred at that point. The pace was fender to fender and a bit frustrating at first.

Up around Moritzplatz, where I saw the first example of 'corking'. Corking is where other cyclists deliberately block the traffic to allow safe passage of the rest of the riders. You can see the yellow shirted guy in the middle of the picture and two by his side blocking the roundabout for our benefit.

We got nicely free-wheeling after Moritzplatz and through to Checkpoint Charlie,

I especially appreciated our takeover of Leipzigerstrasse on the way to Potsdamer Platz. This is a street where cyclists are totally marginalised and can be quite a tricky road to navigate. This is where the Mall of Berlin has been built, which resulted in a couple of years of roadworks that forced cyclists into the path of traffic. Sharing that environment with big trucks, impatient taxis and the generally clueless has never been fun. Here a man in a DHL van was getting pissed off because of the blockage. Fuck him, I thought, I usually have to put up with 'your' traffic and worry for my safety. For one night you can just suck it. I kept myself in check thought - that mentality is not a good one and can lead to excess feelings of superiority, and altercations with motorists..,which happened later on. (not me!)

At the victory column I think there was a bit of confusion as to which exit to take. We took over the roundabout, circling it a couple of times before the police funneled us up towards Ernst-Reuter-Platz.

It took me a while to read what this girl's backpack said...

Eventually we ended up at Bahnhof Zoo, completely blocking the underpass in what felt like 'a moment' for the group. People were happy and it felt like a job well done.

I thought the ride might have ended, but after something of a regroup we were off again down around the Ku'Damm.

The ride took us out of this bright lighted area and into Wilmersdorf...which is a yawn of a place, but good, wide, and not too busy streets to take over. Corking was going on at every intersection.

Some of the altercations were starting to get a little more prevalent, with delayed motorists vocalizing their annoyance. It isn't really necessary to get 'up in someones face' but some people seem more up for it than others. As happened in this case where a cyclist and motorist engaged in a face off. A passing motorbike was called over to sort it out. I was surprised that the calls of 'Hey Bulle' were actually heard and acted on by the copper.

The same cop, after sorting out that kefuffle, then sped ahead of me to join his colleague. I could hear him shout to his mate in German "This is so shit without radios". I felt sorry for them, they are just trying to do a job amongst unorganised peaceful chaos, and apparently without radio!

This is where is fell apart for a while. By Rathaus Friedenau the whole cycling group paused, seemingly confused as to where to go. I don't think the poor cops helped, as they blocked the oncoming traffic, and some of the riders, causing a big blockage!

Which shut down the road for a while. The motorists had no choice but to wait.

Somehow the confusion got resolved and the movement pressed on, including a rare chance to ride through the Bundesalle vehicle tunnel...wooo hooooo.

By now, particularly after the Rathaus Friedenau confusion, I had enough. My saddle was sore, but I wanted to stick it out. Eventually, after three hours of roaming Berlin, we hit the victory column again and made our way up the Strasse Des 17 Juni towards the Brandenburg Gate. It's always a powerful ride with that monument in your sights, regardless if you are alone or with a huge group...which by now I think must have numbered over a thousand, but you just can't tell.

The Brandenburg Gate was the final assembly point, some milling around, and triumphant 'bike lifts' followed by a group clap at our efforts, signaled the end of a fascinating night.

I found the experience to be something extremely surreal and special. The group, by sheer number, exerted such a powerful force across Berlin that normal road rules no longer applied (which they should!!) and had the police chasing around after us in a strange cat trying to protect the mouse game.

As I wrote earlier, there is a false sense of superiority that you gain by being in the group. Sure, you do gain safety and visibility in numbers, but this isn't an opportunity to be reckless, law breaking or an excuse to be a fuckwit. If those things happen, then Critical Mass will get a bad reputation, and do more harm than good for cyclists - there very opposite of what it hopes to achieve. Having said that, from what I saw, the crowd was there for the common good and have once again managed to successfully assert the rights and power of cyclists in Berlin.

More information and future ride dates can be found at the Critical Mass Berlin website:

www.critical-mass-berlin.de

Update 30 August 2015: The twitter feed for Critical Mass posted this map of the route taken during the ride. You can see the southernmost route, which is Rathaus Friedenau, where I thought it kinda fell apart for a while!

Num-num leaves the nest

Num-num update, original story here.

Since taking Num-num in several days ago, he has got stronger, started to open his eyes more and has gotten a whole lot more flappier! When we first got him he could hardly walk, and that's why the cat could so easily get him and his sibling.

For the first two nights Num-num was unable to escape his blue bucket nest and didn't really try. His parents were coming frequently to feed him, so I left the rearing up to them.

On the third day, Num-num was much stronger than before and was jumping and flapping his wings to get out. I was worried he would get out and fall off the balcony...and get eaten by the cat. With much effort Num-num made it up to the ledge of his blue nest. I was hesitant to see what to do, but he just sat there chilling out, and doing some strange bopping movements with wing stretching.

I watched with nervous fascination about what was going to happen.

And then his dad came along and had a chat with him.

And he just sat there. Great, I thought, this is what would happen in the wild. Hopefully the parents tell him to stay put and he won't hurt himself. The parents both came and fed him on his ledge, and seemingly had more chats with him.

I was feeling more relaxed and was reading myself to full pass all rearing duties back to the parents. Nightfall approached, a time when the parents stop coming to see Num-num, and also the time the cat usually comes to make his last prowl of our Hof.

So what does Num-num do? he make a run for it. He jumps off his blue ledge and straight to the edge of the balcony. Despite thinking I'd let what happens happen, I wasn't going to let him go off on his own in the dark! I went to retrieve him off his perilous ledge, pulling him back from the brink a couple of times with a grilling rack that for some reason we leave in our pfand bucket. I'd get him off the ledge and then he'd just run back again, and the third time...thwap, he fell off and down below. NUM-NUM!!!

I ran downstairs and found hum chilling out in the garden. His parents nowhere to be seen or heard, it was no place for our little bird. I picked him up and took him back to his blue safe zone. One more night, I said to myself...just one more night and he'll be ready. I knew it was inevitable that he would make another break for it and perhaps he was ready and should do whatever Blackbirds do. Just not at night please!

Back in his box he kept trying to get out again, getting back out on the blue ledge once more. His squeaks were heard by his dad and when daddy came with a worm, it looked like he tried to knock Num-num back inside his box. Eventually Num-num fell back in and decided to go to sleep.

I was happy to find Num-num still in his box sleeping before I went to work. The Mrs. was at home to keep an eye on him.

Sometime before lunch, he got back out again, went to the ledge, and like Buzz Lightyear, fell with style, diagonally with fledgling flights skills, crash landing in the soft vines of our central gardened area. He then made a run across the paving and into a small shrubbed and vined area where we presumed his parents were setting up shop.

When I came home, already aware of his escape, I could hear him in the Hof but not see him. In the night and the next morning we could hear him and his parents chatting. So he had survived his first night out in 'the wild'!

Today when we came back from an outing we could hear him again. We looked around and he was just chilling out in the shrub thing that he'd run to (and that we've been seeing his parents fly in and out of often). He looks pretty happy and safe. He wasn't fussed when I crept inside the bush to say hi.

And so now our fostering days are over, and our happy little Blackbird is back where he should be, and hopefully out of danger. It's nice to know that he will still be near us and living in our Hof with his parents. Hopefully his sibling, the one that was taken by the next door neighbour, will also survive.

And, I can keep an eye on him from the area where I usually work on the computer, which directly overlooks the Blackbirds home.

Hopefully he'll come and visit us sometime when he can fly better :)

Blackbird B&B

We are now the temporary co-custodians of a baby Blackbird, who we have decided is a 'he' and have called him Num-num.

It all started around Friday lunchtime. I was sitting at the computer with a view into our Hof (courtyard), watching the usual comings and goings of people. This time something was noticeably different, with the people stopping to look at something on the ground, lingering for a while and then eventually leaving. It looked like they were looking at a small black ball. It was only when the ball started to try to hop that I realised it was a bird. Nobody did anything however.

We went out for the day not long after and the small bird had disappeared, to safety I had hoped.

When we came back home in the afternoon there was a bit of chirping from birds in the Hof, which is normal I thought. But from inside we could hear the insistent chirping of two birds and when you listened closely, it was easy to tell it was a cry for help.

I went to investigate, deducing it must be something to do with the baby bird from earlier. It was nowhere to be seen so I followed the bird alarm. The two birds were in our rear-most Hof and chirping with frantic alarm. I then noticed over the fence that a cat was playing with something, and even though I couldn't see through the overgrowth, it was obvious that the little baby bird was in peril under there. I can't describe to you how distressing it was to watch and hear the parent birds crying alarm, fretting from branch to branch but unable to scare the cat away.

I tried to shoo away the cat, but the crafty so and so knew that I couldn't get over the fence. My feeble 'pfft' and 'bugger off' did nothing. A small rock throw disturbed the cat, but he came back one the projectile threat was over. I had to get over to the neighbours yard and considered climbing the fence but notice someone from my building was very openly watching me. I spoke to him to let him know what I was doing and to ask if he knew how to get over 'there'. He said 'go next door', duh.

I did go next door, which because it is also a hotel, the door is also open. Funnily enough, as I went to the area where the bird was, a woman was also on the hunt for the poor thing. She found it before I did, and it turns out she lives in the building next to mine.

We came back to my Hof to look for the nest, but couldn't find it, though I knew that it is normally about 4 levels up. The lady said that in that case, it is impossible to reach the nest and she would take the bird home to hand rear it. As she left, I showed her my nameplate on the intercom in case she wanted to contact me. She said 'great, because sometimes my cats go in there'. So it was HER cat that was tormenting the bird :( No wonder she took it to look after it and had said she had hand raised baby birds before...the cats and their wildlife surprises.

I left her to it and came back home. I regretted letting her take the bird, as I thought it would have been better for me to keep it, at least the parents would know where it was. But I don't know anything about birds. I only got the lady's first name so I can't contact her unless I see her on the street :( Ho hum.

Back at home, the poor parent birds were still making their commotion. I thought it was heartbreak at losing their little one and seeing the cat back again on the prowl.

But it wasn't just heartbreak, it was another effort to scare away the cat from a second baby! I couldn't see the second one until some more people in the Hof congregated another small black ball, and the cat had made itself scarce. I ran downstairs with a box and by the time I had got there, everyone had left and the bird was on its own on the bricks.

I put him in a box, and left him on on our Pfand pile on our balcony in the hopes the parents would easily find him.

Num-num was quite docile and seemed to be flightless and unable to see, so I left him there.

A short while later, Num-num had gotten out of his box and had fallen to the floor. I was worried he would further fall to the ground below, so relocated his box to the ground also, and taped up the sides. He seemed happy enough.

And then my plan worked, Num-num had let out some cries and daddy came looking for him.

And came back with some food.

In the meantime, I didn't know if I should feed Num-num or not, so looked on the internet for advice.

According to one site, a baby or fledgling bird has a 100% chance of death if it falls out of its nest onto the ground. In urban areas because predators, mostly cats, will come along and kill it. According to the website, 50% of hand-reared birds will survive / die. I hoped that because I am co-parenting, the survival chance for Num-num will be very high.

But I still tried to feed him, first some tomato (which isn't on the list of things to feed it) which he happily ate after a bit of coercion to 'gape'. I also gave it a bit of egg (which IS on the list) and eventually got him to eat a bit but it was a bit of mucking around.

I'd feathered the nest with some paper towel, and left Num-num for the night.

In the morning we were pleased to see he was still alive, and that his parents were making regular visits. We are now experts on who is the mum and who is the dad. Mum is dark brown, and dad is black with an orange beak,

In Num-num's enclosure there are his poops and some strange burgundy coloured stones. I saw Num-num vomit one up. My suspicions that these were berry pips were confirmed as his mum and dad are regularly feeding him small berries (held three at a time in their beaks).

The other popular thing is worms, of course!

They are also bringing something else, but we haven't worked it out yet. Maybe grasshopper.

So given that mum and dad know where he is, and that he is getting fed, I am no longer intervening in the feeding department. We just provide a safe balcony until he is ready to fly away. However the box he was in was quickly and badly soiled, so that has been replace by a lined and easily cleaned plastic box. Hopefuly Num-num likes reading the Berliner Morgenpost.

Thankfully, the new box hasn't disrupted anything and Num-num is happy chilling out in there.

And more importantly, the parents quickly came to give their seal of approval too, checking it out and coming back to feed Num-num.

We've been fascinated watching this unfold before us through our window. Num-num cries every now and then, and not long after, one of his parents comes to give him something to eat. So far, the parents are not living on our balcony and just make visits. I read that if the nest is destroyed, the mother will make another one. I guess it's possible that Num-num and his sibling just fell out, but we don't know. For now we will just keep his box clean and leave the rest up to nature, hopefully, when he is able, he will fly the blue nest and rejoin his proper one.