I'm just going to come out and say it...Oktoberfest is a waste of time.
This might come as a surprise to many, thinking its all Oom Pah Pah bands and beers, but the fact is that the festival is overcrowded and frustrating.
However, Munich is still a lovely place - you just don't need to go at Oktoberfest time to experience it (in fact its better to go another time!).
We'd been to Oktoberfest once before, in 2009, and went on the opening day (a Saturday) when we couldn't get a drink at all. Instead we found a nearby bar (the Lenz, more on that later) and ate and drank there instead. We had a fair bit of time in Munich on that trip and so were able to go back several times more into the weekdays, each time finding easy access to the Biergartens adjacent to the main tents, but access to the tents themselves was almost impossible. Nevertheless, on that trip we still had a lot of fun.
Fast forward to this trip and almost 2 years of living in Berlin and we've become more cynical...much more Berlin'ish. From the outset Munich seemed quite boring!
This year we caught the bus down to Munich. Not bad value, but a very long trip. Should have been 8 hours but with extra stops and heavy traffic it was over an hour. Couple that with an early trip to get to the Berlin ZOB (central bus station) and then the late trek to our 'accommodation', it was a freaking long trip. The bus itself was pretty good though, comfortable, working toilet, some food and drink for sale if you needed it and some patchy wifi.
Once in Munich we checked into our accommodation, a place easily accessible by tram called The-Tent. This is Munich's cheapest accommodation, especially at Oktoberfest time. For us it cost 15 euros a night (twice the normal rate of 7.50!). As the the name suggests, this is a series of tent accommodation and as such is only open in summertime as it is just too cold in winter. Once checked in, we were each given 3 blankets and a yoga mat thing and told to find our on place on the tent floor. Inconveniently, a Japanese film crew wanted to interview us right as we were fully laden. While 3 of use rejected the offer, our friend T went ahead with it.
We got in and even though it was quite late, it was busy (Thursday night!). We waited in line at a tent, only to finally get a chance to speak to the door person who said no reservation no entry. Hmm, why don't they say that to begin with. We walked up a short distance and saw you could walk straight into the Hofbrau tent. No problems, it was only about 10:15pm by then and with our recollection of our previous time that everything shuts at midnight, we should have a pretty good stint in here. We got some good seats and were ready to get on it.
We got 4 steins, at 10 Euros each. That may sound ok, but for us Berliners its a hefty premium to pay - especially when they don't fill the beer up to the litre mark. We were there for the atmosphere anyway, so decided not to get upset about it. We were sitting with a group of young (looked too young) girls from Passau, and were having a chat with them while listening to the Oom Pah Pah band play their very good version of Die Toten Hosen's Tage Wie Diese (summer hit of 2013).
Things were going well until bang on 10:30 the lights went of. A bloke came along our area blowing a whistle and herding us outside. Geez. So they clear the insides of the tent earlier than the Biergartens.
We were shuffled out of the main tent to a side area which was not the Biergarten, just a side area. After a few minutes chugging our steins another guy came and told us we had to vacate. That was a bit crappy as once we were outside that was it for that nights Oktoberfest...you could still get something to eat, play some carnie games and maybe some rides, but the drinking was mostly over.
Well...over to our favourite late night welcome everyone bar, the Lenz!
This place is cool, the great Oktoberfest vibe, without all the hassle. Busy, but you can nestle up on a bench and make some new friends. You get served reasonably quickly and everything is cool (okay the prices are the same as Oktoberfest...).
In our 2009 Oktoberfest we had a nemesis at this bar - the toilet Gypsy. She's the one that guards the toilet and you can make a voluntary donation each time you go. I'm pretty sure its voluntary but they don't have make you feel bad if you don't pay them every time. Anyway, my friend J and I can't stand this...I mean, they make you pay to put the stuff in you, and then you have to pay to get it out of you? NO WAY. So we wondered if our same happy (that's sarcasm) toilet Gyspy would be there again. And she was!
And that was day 1.
Day 2 started of with a cold wake up call. Munich was much colder than we had anticipated. While the tent is supposedly heated, the heater wasn't really up to the job. I went to check out the rest of the grounds, to see the bunk accommodation in another tent:
We went back to the Oktoberfest grounds and every tent was closed due to overcrowding once more. We went up to several and I heard the bouncers saying 'Hey, It's Saturday'. So we cut our losses and went back to the Maxvorstadt biergarted as it was still happy hour time. We managed to get in 2 steins each there as well as some great great food. Yup Schweinshaxes were on the menu :)
This might come as a surprise to many, thinking its all Oom Pah Pah bands and beers, but the fact is that the festival is overcrowded and frustrating.
However, Munich is still a lovely place - you just don't need to go at Oktoberfest time to experience it (in fact its better to go another time!).
We'd been to Oktoberfest once before, in 2009, and went on the opening day (a Saturday) when we couldn't get a drink at all. Instead we found a nearby bar (the Lenz, more on that later) and ate and drank there instead. We had a fair bit of time in Munich on that trip and so were able to go back several times more into the weekdays, each time finding easy access to the Biergartens adjacent to the main tents, but access to the tents themselves was almost impossible. Nevertheless, on that trip we still had a lot of fun.
Fast forward to this trip and almost 2 years of living in Berlin and we've become more cynical...much more Berlin'ish. From the outset Munich seemed quite boring!
This year we caught the bus down to Munich. Not bad value, but a very long trip. Should have been 8 hours but with extra stops and heavy traffic it was over an hour. Couple that with an early trip to get to the Berlin ZOB (central bus station) and then the late trek to our 'accommodation', it was a freaking long trip. The bus itself was pretty good though, comfortable, working toilet, some food and drink for sale if you needed it and some patchy wifi.
Once in Munich we checked into our accommodation, a place easily accessible by tram called The-Tent. This is Munich's cheapest accommodation, especially at Oktoberfest time. For us it cost 15 euros a night (twice the normal rate of 7.50!). As the the name suggests, this is a series of tent accommodation and as such is only open in summertime as it is just too cold in winter. Once checked in, we were each given 3 blankets and a yoga mat thing and told to find our on place on the tent floor. Inconveniently, a Japanese film crew wanted to interview us right as we were fully laden. While 3 of use rejected the offer, our friend T went ahead with it.
We settled in quickly, laying our mats on the floor and setting up our corner patch. Unfortunately we set up (no choice) next to a group of obnoxious you Australians...the worst being Thommo.
And then after all the hassle of the day's travelling, had a beer at the-tent biergarten to calm down a bit.
Once we were settled it was time to hit up Oktoberfest for real, WOO HOO...or so we thought.
We got 4 steins, at 10 Euros each. That may sound ok, but for us Berliners its a hefty premium to pay - especially when they don't fill the beer up to the litre mark. We were there for the atmosphere anyway, so decided not to get upset about it. We were sitting with a group of young (looked too young) girls from Passau, and were having a chat with them while listening to the Oom Pah Pah band play their very good version of Die Toten Hosen's Tage Wie Diese (summer hit of 2013).
Things were going well until bang on 10:30 the lights went of. A bloke came along our area blowing a whistle and herding us outside. Geez. So they clear the insides of the tent earlier than the Biergartens.
We were shuffled out of the main tent to a side area which was not the Biergarten, just a side area. After a few minutes chugging our steins another guy came and told us we had to vacate. That was a bit crappy as once we were outside that was it for that nights Oktoberfest...you could still get something to eat, play some carnie games and maybe some rides, but the drinking was mostly over.
Well...over to our favourite late night welcome everyone bar, the Lenz!
This place is cool, the great Oktoberfest vibe, without all the hassle. Busy, but you can nestle up on a bench and make some new friends. You get served reasonably quickly and everything is cool (okay the prices are the same as Oktoberfest...).
In our 2009 Oktoberfest we had a nemesis at this bar - the toilet Gypsy. She's the one that guards the toilet and you can make a voluntary donation each time you go. I'm pretty sure its voluntary but they don't have make you feel bad if you don't pay them every time. Anyway, my friend J and I can't stand this...I mean, they make you pay to put the stuff in you, and then you have to pay to get it out of you? NO WAY. So we wondered if our same happy (that's sarcasm) toilet Gyspy would be there again. And she was!
And that was day 1.
Day 2 started of with a cold wake up call. Munich was much colder than we had anticipated. While the tent is supposedly heated, the heater wasn't really up to the job. I went to check out the rest of the grounds, to see the bunk accommodation in another tent:
And the outdoor bring your own tent area. Brrrr!
We had our showers and while the toilet/shower facilities were pretty good, the people were dirty slow animals and the line to get a shower was huge and took ages. I'm loathe to say it, but someone did a number 2 in one of the showers...eeeeeew. You'd think that would be a one off, but the next day the same thing happened in another shower cubicle....same person? dunno but it wasn't nice and puts a shower out of action for rush hour. (We're living in a SOCIETY!!)
We went into the Alt Stadt and it was mostly dead. It was a public holiday in Germany, a celebration of reunification. We didn't know that at the time of booking at the start of the year. Almost everything was shut. We went to check out some local highlights, like the Rathaus Glockenspiel,
And got some lunch at the original Hofbrauhaus...a Schweinshaxe of course (which was disappointingly small)
We eventually went back to the Oktoberfest grounds, where upon entry I was 'randomly' thoroughly searched by the police. They wanted to see if I had drugs or weapons on me. Luckily I left all my drugs and weapons elsewhere so the fuzz had to let me go. They really went through everything, right through my wallet and every pocket on my person.
Inside the grounds it was CHOCKERS. Ridiculously busy.
Moving was only possible by shuffling and it wasn't pleasant at all. All beer tents were closed due to being over capacity. We had no choice but to shuffle through the grounds to an exit and get out of there.
Instead we went to one of our old stomping grounds (can it be called a stomping ground if you stomped it for only 5 days in a previous trip), to the University district of Maxvorstadt. Here we went to a cool suburban biergarten and took advantage of their happy hour specials...Helles bier 500ml for 2.20 or 1 litre stein for 4.40.
With the happy hour over we needed some dinner and thought we should compare a Munich döner to a Berlin one. Berlin is the king of Döners, but we went to a place which claimed to be Munich's best döner.
Munich's Döners are shit.
Back at the-tent we had some more beers and then settled off to sleep, only to have obnoxious Thommo come in later on and start shouting at his 'friends' various expletives and relentless Australian old fashioned matey racism to his apparent friend of Italian descent. (Garlic bread eating Guido C***). You catch more flies with honey Thommo. Anyway, Thommo eventually went off to another party and others in his crew drifted in and out sporadically. Apart from those morons, everyone else was very well behaved and quiet (in a tent of about 50 people that's not bad). Thommo was back much later on and he obviously was a bit sick with much coughing, amongst some others that were also had the coughs.
Day 3 was a start with the same routine of shower waiting, but once done we hightailed it out of there and revisited the Alt Stadt, in particular the lovely Viktualienmarkt. Lots to see an eat, and we had a Krustenbraten and a Schweishaxe.
From there a 'can not miss' spot in Munich is the Englischer Garten, a beautiful public park, apparently bigger than NYCs central park. We had a beer at the Chineses Turm Biergarten,
And then wandered around to watch the curious site of people surfing a standing wave in the Isar river.
That was almost it for our experience, but then we had a divide in our group...should we have one more crack at Oktoberfest? We decided to go for it once again, but it wasn't a unanimous decision. I wanted to try again I didn't think I would bother to go to Oktoberfest again after this trip.
Back at the grounds it was noticeably quieter, but still busy and the tents were still signed saying that they were closed. This time though, people were lined up at the front holding their fingers up with the number of people in their party - and some were being let it. We lined up at the Hofbrau tent and after not long the bouncer made a bit of a mistake and the whole bunch of us were 'let in' (basically the whole group stormed the poor guy). That was only barrier one, we still had the front door to contend with. I thought at least here they would control the crowd better.
As we waited a worker from the tent that was clearing the glasses away approached T and said he could get us in. I was sceptical from the get go and didn't want to entertain this guy. He wanted us to offer him money and he would sneak us inside. He eventually said something like he wanted 80 bucks or euros and he'd get us in. We told him to forget it.
We waited by the door and the head bouncer guy just told everyone to be calm and then proceeded to let everyone in...maybe 100 people or so. We were so surprised but happy nonetheless to get in.
Inside it was mayhem.
Our once cosy spot where we had sat with the girls from Passau was closed off and we were forced into the main arena. Where there should be clear aisles for the Beer Fraus and general movement of the crowd was elbow to elbow. Being later in the evening (and of course Oktoberfest) people were drunk and the atmosphere was not friendly. Must be all foreigners as Germans are not usually like this! There was a real vibe that any wrong move and something could kick off. It was shit.
We quickly realised this was a no win situation and pushed our way out of there as quick as we could. We were more likely to get a fight rather than a beer.
So what do you do when Oktoberfest lets you down? Go to the Lenz!
Inside we got cozied up with a bunch of Irish lads, who of course were on a stag do. They told us their woes, how they never got into any tents and only got into Biergartens after hours and hours of waiting. They were also staying in a hotel somewhere in the city which was costing them something like 250 Euros a night each!
And so after we left the Lenz, that was the drinking part of our Oktoberfest over with. Back at the tent, Thommo was coughing his guts up as we all slipped off into fairy land. We had an early start and as such were able to slip in and out of the showers before the rush (and the phantom number 2'er), made our way to the ZOB (Munich central station) and headed home.
We all felt crap, T and I had colds and the girls were none to flash either. We don't know if Thommo is to blame, or being in a tent with 50 other people, being run down from early mornings and late nights, or if too much pork can do this to you. Whatever it is or was, it was a little gift from Munich to us as a reminder of our stay.
Our way back home was filled with remarks like 'Munich ain't Berlin', 'Can you believe there are no Spätis in Munich' and 'Can't wait to get a proper Döner!'.
All in all, despite what it sounds like, we did have a memorable trip. We have to admit that we went to Oktoberfest at the worst possible time (public holiday and the weekend without reservation) and if we were to go again we'd go during the first weekdays...but nevertheless, Oktoberfest, the reason we went to Munich in the first place, was the worst part of the trip!
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